


That Family Tree

by Esinde Nayrall (red_squared)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-19 16:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_squared/pseuds/Esinde%20Nayrall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack meta, originally posted <a href="http://red-squared.livejournal.com/31157.html"><b>here</b></a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Family Tree

"I thought your mother's name was Cassiopeia?"

"What are you talking about Moony? I told you to be careful about inhaling when you were dusting off the Halucinous-blosso-"

"No, it's on here," Remus says, pointing to a large scroll of parchment he's stretched out across the table. "See? It says here. Walburga - a cradle snatcher, by the look of things, given that she was four years older than Orion."

"Who?"

"Orion. Your father."

" _What_ are you _talking_ about? My father's name was Antares, my mother's name was Cassiopeia, and he was fifteen years older than - Oh. I see you've stumbled across one of the decoys."

"A _decoy_? Are you saying this is a fake? Why would anybody -"

"Blood, Moony. It's all about blood. There's magic in it."

" _Dark_ magic," Remus frowns, starting to roll up the parchment.

"Well, _yes_ ," Sirius replies, starting to laugh and preventing him from rolling it up. "This would tell you the... Well, the order, really. Whose birth and breeding is better than who elses. Whose blood you need to put your hands on to affect- At least, it would, if it were accurate. This way, people think they have the real thing and it doesn't endanger anybody in the family." Remus gives Sirius a disbelieving look. "See? If you need any further proof, look there," Sirius continues, pointing to the bottom of the parchment, at the date of death for his brother. "He died _after_ Harry was born, but this would tell you that -"

"But all of the names on the bottom are accurate! There's the burn mark for you and the one for Andromeda, there's your brother, and there's Bellatrix and Narcissa, and -"

"Well, everything that can be _easily_ verified against other sources has to be accurate, doesn't it? I've never heard of anybody called Cygnus - horrible name for a man. Look at this, though," Sirius insists, pointing furtehr up the tree. "I don't know who put this one together, but look at the dates here - look at how many of us would have had to have fathered children before we came of age!"

"Yes, but -"

"Oh, honestly, Moony," Sirius says impatiently, reaching for the parchment, scrunching it up into a ball and hurling it out of the window.* "Would you forget about that. If you want to see the _real_ family tree, come and look at the tapestry."

They wander up the stairs, to where the tapestry stretches all the way up and across one of the walls.

"Well, this looks just as fanciful as the other one," Remus says doubtfully. "How do you know -"

"To the untrained eye, perhaps. But for one thing, there are the powerful magical charms around it, designed to keep track of births, marriages and deaths - no ink, so no prevarications."

"Mmmm."

"Secondly," Sirius continues, adopting a lecturing tone, "you will note that Regulus' death date is correct, and that the other dates are logical. Additionally, my parents' names are what I told you they were back in second year."

"True."

"And finally, and most importantly if it comes to detecting fakes, my family's motto is 'Toujours pur', and _not_ 'There are many stories between the lines'."

*Where it was subsequently found by a Muggle and auctioned off at great value.

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated and treasured -- even (especially?) on a fic as old as this one!


End file.
